SULLIVAN'S SALVOS
April 16, 2020
Sullivan’s Salvos 4/21/20
In this edition:
*Please Be Kind, Patient, and Calm
*RIP Irving Pfab
*Kunkel for Sheriff
*You Can’t Make Me!
*Did You Know?
*Please Be Kind, Patient, and Calm
I got some really good advice a while ago, and I think it is worth sharing now.
When my daughter Rachel and granddaughter Zuri moved to Wisconsin, I was heartbroken. I used to pick Zuri up from daycare two or three times per week, and every time I walked in I felt like a million bucks. She would smile, her eyes would twinkle, and she would yell, “Papa!” Then she would run to me, I would scoop her up, and I’d give her a big kiss. It is truly probably the very best I have ever felt in my whole life.
But they moved. And I was crushed. And because I am an extrovert, I told people about it. Interestingly, though, I did not get a lot of sympathy in return. Instead, I heard from people whose grandkids live overseas. I heard from more than one person whose grandkids are in California. I even had one guy tell me that his brother’s granddaughter had died. In other words, the general consensus was, “You have nothing to complain about. Suck it up.”
I knew on some level these people were correct. But it didn’t make me feel any better. As a matter of fact, it made me feel worse. Now I was piling guilt on top of my sadness.
Then I ran into a friend who is a counselor. And she gave me some advice that helped me tremendously. She said, and I am paraphrasing, “You are entitled to your feelings. You deserve to mourn the loss of time with Rachel and Zuri. Everything you feel is legitimate, and no one should make you feel otherwise. It is important to recognize that other people are going through similar (and maybe worse) things, but that does not make your own feelings any less legitimate.”
I really think this conversation saved me. And I think it is relevant now more than ever. I have a niece (my sister’s daughter) graduating from Mount Vernon High this year. I have a nephew (my brother’s son) graduating from Cedar Rapids Kennedy. Their senior years are not going according to plan! They are missing their friends, classes, sports, music, dances, and probably commencement itself. They are sad and angry. And they deserve to feel that way.
Does this in any way compare to those among us who are grieving the loss of a loved one? No, of course not. And there are many more deaths to come. Many more people will be in mourning. All these people deserve our kindness and compassion.
Meanwhile, my niece and nephew also have legitimate reasons to grieve. People who just miss their job, or their family, or their friends, or their favorite restaurant – all deserve to grieve. We all have reasons to be sad. Go ahead and feel sad. It is OK. Sure, keep it in perspective. But I think we can all agree – this sucks.
*RIP Irving Pfab
I was saddened to hear of the passing of Irv Pfab. Irv was a longtime Johnson County Democratic Party Official, and served 4 years on the Iowa City Council. (Many will recall Irv as the person who defeated notorious Councilor Dean Thornberry in 1999.)
Most importantly, Irv – a staunch Catholic - cared deeply for “the least among us.” He volunteered for as many good causes as anyone I have ever known. He was a very good man. RIP, Irv!
*Kunkel for Sheriff
Johnson County Sheriff Lonny Pulkrabek is stepping down, and two gentlemen are running for that position. I strongly support Brad Kunkel for Sheriff.
I have known Brad since 2004, when both Lonny and I were first running for office. Brad always struck me as smart, sincere, and having a great sense of humor. As I got to know him better, I could see that Brad was a very valued member of the Sheriff’s Office, which was born out by his many promotions. He has held just about every role in the Sheriff’s Office, and he has excelled at every one. The guy is clearly a good cop. And he knows the Sheriff’s Office inside and out.
I also got to know Brad in other ways. I worked with him when he served as a member of the Solon City Council. Brad was thoughtful, did his homework, and was not afraid to go against the grain. I learned of Brad’s long commitment to fighting domestic violence, and all of his volunteer efforts. I spent time with Brad at various Democratic Party events, where his willingness to pitch in and lend a hand was always on display. Finally, I got to know Brad’s wife Julie and his family. Brad Kunkel is just a wonderful guy, plain and simple. He is the kind of guy you pray for as a son-in-law. And he is the type of person you want serving as Sheriff.
One more thing. And this is really important. Here is how you can tell Brad has what it takes. When you are running for office, it is easy to promise everything to everybody. It is a great way to get votes. But someone who gives everyone everything they want will be a lousy Sheriff. To be a good Sheriff, you need to be honest, and you need to be able to do what is right, even when it is hard. Brad Kunkel has done that throughout this campaign, and he has done it throughout his career.
I wholeheartedly support Brad Kunkel as the next Sheriff of Johnson County!
*You Can’t Make Me!
Ever heard that refrain before? I certainly have. And when you really stop and think about it, it is a very revealing statement.
We are lucky to live in the USA. We have a longstanding Bill of Rights, and a legal system full of precedents. Most of us believe inherently in individual rights, including an individual’s right to NOT do something. In short, no one can MAKE you do something.
There are some instances where an individual loses that right. For example, when a law enforcement officer says, “Please step out of the car, ma’am.” You can respond with, “You can’t make me!” but you will likely be getting a ticket for Interference with Official Acts.
In my experience, the person responding, “You can’t make me!” is rarely responding to a law enforcement officer. As a matter of fact, they aren’t even responding to any kind of order. Typically, the person who responds, “You can’t make me!” was politely asked to do something, and she refuses.
This is not news to the person making the request. He or she understands our basic rights. He or she knows that they “can’t make you”. They simply asked you to do something, and you went straight there. That is why this response is so telling.
Take just a moment. Think about when the last time was you heard someone say, “You can’t make me!” It isn’t a question of could you do something. It is a question of should you do something.
I hope it has been a long time since you heard it, and a long time until you hear it again.
*DID YOU KNOW? All the Covid-19 info you could ever want is available on the County’s home page.
Anyone interested in learning more about County government should take a look at the County website-
"Sullivan’s Salvos" is sent once per week to any interested party. It will give a brief update on issues of interest to Johnson County residents.
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As always, feel free to contact me at 354-7199 or rodsullivan@mchsi.com. I look forward to serving you!
---Rod
posted by Rod Sullivan @ 12:24 PM
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