SULLIVAN'S SALVOS
June 11, 2020
Sullivan’s Salvos 6/16/20
In this edition:
*Protests
*Black Lives Matter – A Couple Stories
*RIP Mary Jo Welch
*Did You Know?
*Protests
As you know, the murder of George Floyd has led to protests across America, including in Johnson County. I have been trying to participate, negotiate, and play a number of roles. It is exhausting. But not nearly as exhausting as being black in America.
One thing I hope we can all consider: multiple things can be true at the same time. You can demand justice over the murder of George Floyd, and also be upset that people painted the Old Capitol. You can have mostly good cops, and also a few bad ones. You can have mostly peaceful protesters, and also a few vandals. You can be a genuinely kind and caring person and also have racial blind spots. Many local African Americans support the local protests; some do not. Some support certain parts of it. It is not always a case of either/or; often our world is “yes, and”.
Please pay attention, listen, learn, and be safe. It is going to take a lot of us a lot of effort to make things better.
*Black Lives Matter – A Couple Stories
I have had a few friends lately urge me to speak publicly about some of my experiences as the father of 3 African American children and the foster father for dozens more. I have resisted this, mainly for two reasons. First, the stories belong to the kids as much as they belong to me. Secondly, I have not wanted to have anything I said take away from anything a person of color might have to say. But some friends continue to prod me. (Looking at YOU, Tony Currin!) So I decided to share a couple of positive stories that illustrate some of the incredible help I had from African Americans as my kids were growing up.
I have known Orville Townsend a long time. I ended up on a slow pitch team with him when I was only 19 years old. Speedy is about 20 years older than me, so I was always amazed at how he outplayed all us youngsters at 40 years old. As I got to know him, I found him to be a great guy and powerful voice who really wanted the best for all people. I later worked alongside him in the human services field, and it was clear that Speedy was perhaps THE most preeminent leader in the local African American community.
Well, not long after the kids moved in, Orville approached me and said, “We need to make an appointment for you to come to my office.” I asked what was up, and he said, “It’s about your kids. The only black adults they see are working at McDonald’s or pushing a broom. God Bless those people – they work hard. But your kids have to know they can have more. They cannot be it if they do not see it.” That was the first time I ever heard that phrase.
So one day I took the kids to Orville’s office. I had been there dozens of times, but I had never seen him behave so formally. He was dressed to the nines; a purple suit and tie with a bright yellow shirt, as I recall! We sat down in his office, the walls covered in professional, academic, and athletic awards. He asked the kids what they wanted to be, but they were too young to have any idea. (I think my son’s answer was “a farmer and a clown”.) But he made the point – “You can be anything you want to be. You can be the boss. You are good enough to do this.”
One thing I have learned as a parent is this idea of “you are good enough to do this” is not something every family feels the need to say. As I have grown older, I have spoken to lots of people who grew up differently from the dominant demographics – they were people of color, LGBTQ+, had a disability, or maybe were just very poor. While lots of our kids grow up very self-confident, many of our kids grow up scared and insecure. While some of our kids go into the world TOO full of themselves, many others go in lacking self-confidence. Orville knew black kids needed to be told “you are good enough to do this” early and often.
Orville has been a friend for a long, long time now. He came here in the very early ‘60s, when the number of African Americans in Johnson County was probably less than 100, and he knew every individual. Now we have over 12,000 African Americans, and many do not know who he is. They should. Speedy has done a lot for this community, and he has done a lot for my family.
Another person who has helped us tremendously over the years is my friend Monique Washington. Our kids went to school together K-12, and our middle children are best friends. Over the years, Melissa and I have gone through many instances of self-doubt. Were we doing things right? What if we screwed something up? Through it all, Monique has met us with unconditional positive regard. She has always had our back – always. And when we have screwed up, she has said, “It’s OK. We are all doing the best we can.”
I remember an instance from a few years ago – I won’t mention any names or what happened, just to protect reputations. As it happened, I caught a couple of boys doing something wrong who were very good friends of both my kids and the Washingtons. The boys said, “Mrs. Washington told us it was OK.” I laughed, pulled out my cell phone, and said, “Bullshit. I have known Mrs. Washington since you boys were in kindergarten. And I know better. Let’s call her up.”
Monique was at my house in 5 minutes. She loaded those boys in her car, and started letting them have it before they were out of the driveway. A couple hours later, the boys called me and apologized for doing what they had done and for lying about her involvement. I said, “I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t mentioned her, don’t you?” They both chuckled and said, “Yes, sir!” It is one little story, but it illustrates one of the hundreds of times Monique has had our backs over the years.
The old African proverb is very correct – “It takes a village to raise a child.” We are very lucky that Orville Townsend and Monique Washington live in our village! Actually, let me restate that: we are very lucky that we live in their village!
*RIP Mary Jo Welch
Mary Jo Welch worked in the Johnson County office of the Iowa Department Services from approximately 1975-2000. I worked with her frequently, and I had great respect for her.
In her private life, Mary Jo was an environmental advocate, a pro-choice activist, and a vocal Democrat. RIP, Mary Jo.
*DID YOU KNOW? UI archivist David McCartney has done outstanding work cataloging the stories of the protests of the 60s and 70s in Iowa City and at the UI. Check his work out at: https://dsps.lib.uiowa.edu/sixties/
Anyone interested in learning more about County government should take a look at the County website-
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---Rod
posted by Rod Sullivan @ 11:52 AM
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